OUTWARD vs INWARD. 1st Peter 3:3-4 The godly motive of a Christian wife is to win a loved one to Christ, not to make demands that create resentment and barriers. Godly submission involves respectful behavior that reflects reverence for God and true humility. Moral purity cannot be concealed. Reverence for God and suitability as a true helper to her husband leave an undeniable impression.
Adorning (kosmos) refers to the beauty and attractiveness that husbands will see in their wives. These words do not condemn the desire to be attractive; rather, they emphasize that, as far as God is concerned, it is more important to have a meek and quiet spirit. The primary beauty is in your heart, not merely in your clothes and jewelry.
The principle of modesty in dress still reveals the value of one's character rather than the physical attributes on display. Exhibiting elaborate jewelry and hairstyles, or going to extremes in dress to attract attention, is not consistent with the conduct our Lord expects of both men and women. The primary beauty of a child of God is in the heart and is seen without attracting attention to the head, the neck, or the body.
Glamour shots of beautiful hairstyles and clothing on sophisticated women are everywhere. They are self-consciously making people discontented and covetous through visual responses, so that people will buy and sell almost anything that appeals to their senses. To look at outward appearance to gain prestige, position, and money is to lust, to make people discontented with what they have. To live for the moment is to fail and fall, and to have nothing more than a life of dissatisfaction and loss.
Some people are deliberately dowdy; they try to look and make others think they’re holy. Outwardly, they deny their own self-respect for the impressions or traditions of men, thinking this earns favor with God. A special, humiliating hairstyle meant to make everyone know the wearer is different is supposed to indicate that the wearer is godly. And the apparel sends a message, “You must be like me to please God.” That outward look, though modest, misses the point.
Outward does not reach the heart when it appeals to lust. Outward does not change the person if it is only to please oneself. Outward appearances can deceive some into thinking the modern way is the best way to be accepted by others. Outward may give the impression that holiness depends on dress. Outward may appeal to some and be repellent to others; outward doesn’t determine whether one is a Christian. Outward cannot be ignored, but it isn’t proof of life. Outward is usually care taken to put “self” in the best light. I am not denying that how I look is important because it does send a message, but I can see how it can deceive people. Help me to be real even in outward appearance.
The “hidden man of the heart” should show modesty through the discreet power and influence of clothing that reflects the inner personality of a woman’s soul and spirit, not the attractiveness of her body and physical appearance. That personality then expresses itself clearly through spoken words and a respectful attitude toward her husband and others. In that way, her character outshines her appearance.
A meek and quiet spirit is not corruptible and is part of a woman’s way of glorifying God and honoring her husband. Gentleness is the opposite of being pushy and demanding, and it is certainly more attractive. Such inner beauty is more than skin deep because it comes from deep confidence in God and consistent trust in Him. In the sight of God, this gentleness is of “great price,” and its value goes beyond what those near and dear to her can value.
This passage of scripture encourages Christian wives to avoid demanding personal rights and harsh, grating words, and instead to cultivate a meek and quiet spirit that speaks without argument and reflects a tranquil attitude that is hard to resent or resist. This is precious to God and to a husband who knows how fortunate he is to have such a person love him, and whom he loves and shares life with.
There is something about one’s spirit which cannot be detected by sound. Visual images cannot display it. It is not something to be tossed around. Generally, it takes time for what is inside to come out, and a person's spirit is seen in meekness, not in visual beauty or loud words.
God alone knows a person's true spirit; reality is not hidden from Him. He is not moved by impressions or sham. Some people who know what is right can detect, from one’s face, hands, and body language, whether the spirit is quiet or uptight, revealing what words never can. God knows and appreciates His truth in women who live their lives before the Lord. He values their inward life and worth very highly, which speaks volumes without a word. The ornaments women may wear are not what is important to Him. Their quiet spirit to others declares that their true worth is within. Godly sisters are to maintain a positive spiritual testimony to those in their homes, in the assembly they are a part of, and in the community in which they live. Give them daily grace to keep a meek and quiet spirit.