HUSBANDS WHO PRAY. 1st Peter 3:7 Again, this refers to the theme of humility. Submission of self-will to the good of the marriage is absolutely essential for the husband who loves his wife. He does not even have authority over his own body in the marriage relationship. Husbands have greater responsibility in decision-making. He is to seek to understand his wife, give her respect, provide for her well-being, and be considerate of her. Anything he asks of her should take into account her physical condition, whether by nature or circumstance. She has goals and desires that he should know as much as possible and respond to, helping her reach them.
“Knowledge” is understanding not only what is right in marriage and family but also what is best for his wife’s safety, security, and contentment. “Honor” involves self-sacrifice, respect, and humility, as when a husband cares for his wife as he would his own body. She is “weaker” only in the physical sense, not in her character, intellect, or mental capacity. “Heirs” are beneficiaries of the same inheritance, in this case, the “grace of life.” A husband is to be considerate, understanding, and respectful toward his wife. He should be helpful, humble, and thankful toward her. Then he will be able to be prayerful and expect God to hear his unhindered prayers. Responsible husbands “understand” God’s design for marriage. They know their wives' needs, desires, and frustrations. A husband is to respond to her sympathetically. The wife’s weakness stems from her marital vows to submit to her husband, as well as from her physical capacity, which needs his protection as well. He is to “honor” her as a person of value, beauty, and quality. He should prioritize her choices and affirm her ideas and actions. She is his complement as a fellow heir, not only now but in eternal inheritance. His prayers are hindered, and his spiritual loss will be great if he does not make a success of his domestic life.
Husbands need to take into account that, normally, women are not as physically strong as men. Moral and intellectual strength are in no way inferior in a woman compared with a man, but physical abuse or attacks can occur if a man does not protect his wife. When a man honors his wife, he will respect, help, protect, and stay with her to keep her safe. He will understand that he is the one who is to provide for her, not the other way around. He will treat her with courtesy and consideration. With tact and insight, he will seek to lighten her load in order to make a home together (dwell with). It is his responsibility to take the initiative in anticipating her needs, avoiding anything that might make her uncertain, and removing the causes of her apprehension and fear by gracefully ministering to her.
When a man "nourishes and cherishes" his wife, they will find that each fills a role that complements the other's. Both bring their strengths and abilities to the marriage, and both share in "the grace of life" that they will have forever. The nature of eternal life adds great value to any relationship that goes beyond temporal and passing happiness. By sharing the blessings of God's grace, every part of the life of two believers who become one in marriage is enhanced beyond body and soul to include sharing in spiritual life as well.
The prayer life and love life of husbands and wives will be under attack by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Satan will attempt to create friction and discord between husbands and wives. The believing husband should maintain family unity through family prayers and Bible reading to gain divine insight into the family and spiritual life. God holds the husband responsible for maintaining balance and order in the family. He must treat his wife well so his prayers are not hindered.
A husband’s relationship with God depends on his having a right relationship with his wife. A husband who mistreats or ignores his wife and her desires will not find any meaningful or responsive answer from God when he prays. His first responsibility is to understand God’s design for marriage. This will affect all he says and does for and with his wife. His second duty is to honor her, affirm her, listen to her, and communicate with her meaningfully.
I am a husband of over three score years. I know my wife, and she knows me far better. We have learned, changed, and adapted. I have learned through observation, correction, and love, and growth continues. The learning curve rises to heights beyond what I can achieve alone, not only through my experiences but also through shared knowledge. Growth is a process not easily measured because time is slow, yet I know the changes in myself. They are unseen and perhaps unexpressed, yet formed by God through her, who, though smaller in size, is wiser and larger in intellect and grace.
Alert, even though I am aware of the nuances of life and family, I miss so many of them, and she knows. But she does not hide from me what I need, nor does she make a burden of small things. And as we bow our heads together, signs of the coming winter upon us, we pray. The grace we’ve experienced, coming freely from God; the joy we share as common goals are reached; the blessings beyond counting (we give God our thanks), with a sense of God’s nearness and peace, we move into the winter season of life, contented, and hopefully – with grace. I want to give her the honor she deserves. It is not hard to do that publicly, but I wonder if I really do it privately. Where I fail, I need divine help to learn. When I do not meet her expectations, my eyes need to be opened.