AUTHORITY AT HOME. 1st Timothy 3:12. Authority does not mean domination but reasonable responsibility. Responsibility involves obligation and personal accountability for my family's well-being. Accountability signifies that one is answerable for those entrusted to his care. Chargeability means imputation; we must bear another’s obligation. Therefore, in the home of someone God calls to lead others, there needs to be awareness of my children's and my wife's needs. A firm guiding hand, combined with openness and compassion, shows that the one who has authority knows when to act rightly.
To rule can mean to comfort or to stop some undisciplined activity, which might be one of my children’s habits. It may also mean I must insist they do work they dislike. When they live in my house, they are under my authority, and they may loudly complain about being tired, but I have to insist they finish a specific task. There are times when a father demands obedience from his children, and he must discipline them for careless or bad words they say. He wants them to learn God’s truth, so they need to learn to pray and read the Bible to build a foundation for their lives when they follow its truth.
Parents teach lessons at home that cannot be learned anywhere else. The years after their youth allow them to continually see God's guidance through the words and example of a caring father. In turn, they will have principles to live by and pass on to their children through their own example. Leadership, of any kind, is a role within God's church that is learned and practiced every day in the homes of those who love the Lord. Leaders gain experiences that enable them to speak to others with authority because their children learn what it means to live in a God-fearing family.
Our influence on our families impacts the influence and effectiveness of those who serve in various ways within an assembly. The main point to consider with the qualifications of bishops and deacons is that most of them do not specify special God-given gifts; instead, the qualifications are about living an ordinary life properly. Those who lead others must walk a straight path if they want to lead the Lord’s people correctly. Respect and obedience from followers result from godly living, not from imposed demands.
Some of the instructions Paul gave to Timothy about elders and deacons are in chapter five, serving as a warning not to be quick in recognizing an elder as a true shepherd or in appointing a deacon to a leadership role. The true character of some people takes time to reveal itself. It's wise not to rush and “lay hands” on someone suddenly. Following these scriptural guidelines in advance can prevent a lot of trouble later on, as long as they are kept in mind and obeyed.