SUPPORT. 1st Timothy 5:4-8. Worldly-minded widows often tend to gossip and stir up conflicts among believers over trivial or divisive issues that disrupt the unity of the congregation. Self-indulgent widows, who focus on their own needs and pursue personal desires, are described as dead. The aim is to maintain a good reputation for themselves and the church they belong to—widows who remain blameless before those who know them will have a very positive influence.
A Christian man must provide for his family and needy relatives who need his help. Loving responsibility for one’s family is a vital part of the Christian faith. Ignoring this duty would break the second commandment that the Lord mentioned, which states that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Such neglect would deny the faith we hold and bring dishonor to Christianity.
Most believers understand this duty, which honors our imperfect heritage and the family bonds we share with many people. By obeying and consistently practicing these principles, our children and grandchildren will be guided in the best possible way, and our homes will be spiritually and physically healthy. Honor given and maintained through godly living is a gift passed from one generation to the next. This training is a gift that sets an example of respect, honor, integrity, and faithfulness, and demonstrates the power and impact of grace and love that will please our Lord.
God created families to support themselves. From the start, God designed work so that everyone can provide for themselves, their children, brothers, extended family, and sometimes others. Widows with family have the right to expect help first from their relatives, then from the congregation. There may be times when the family cannot fulfill their obligations to the widows who are “widows indeed.”
There may be times when we realize that the help given has been wasted on unnecessary things and that the pleasures of sin have been tasted and enjoyed. When that happens, let them find their own resources, and perhaps they'll understand that the help was meant to meet their needs at home. When a person who is alone focuses on the things of the Lord and directs her interests toward ways she can please God, that person trusts God to help her, and in His way, God places the burden on the assembly, which they are willing to bear.
Generally, working families can care for their relatives by sharing what they have and pooling resources to meet a family member's needs. From what they receive, they can provide all that's necessary, enabling widows to live comfortably. I have family members who live alone, but their needs are well met by their own resources. Their needs are more about feeling valued by others and standing firm in the truth they hold.
Certain qualifications apply to those who, in the past, were cared for by the assembly. This is still true in many parts of the world today where a nation's government does not assist those in need. A widow considered part of those cared for by the assembly must be at least 60 years old. She has a proven good marriage record and is welcoming to strangers, showing a willingness to meet others' needs when she can. Her service of caring and loving the saints at her own expense shows her humility and obedience.
The maturity and wisdom of an older sister, along with her abilities and gifts used to bring relief to others, underscore the importance of relief for her when that time comes. Her good works are evident as she seeks opportunities to serve the Lord. These women are deserving of honor. When one follows the "foot washing" principle exemplified and taught by the Lord Jesus, we will find ourselves deserving of respect. Hospitality, humility, and helping others are timeless virtues.