MAKING AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. 2nd Samuel 10 Whatever the act of kindness Nahash had shown to David was, he had not forgotten it. In an act of sympathy when Nahash died, he sent ambassadors to express his consolation and appreciation to Hanun, Nahash’s son, the new king. Likely, he also wanted to solidify intertribal relations. However, due to bad advice, Hanun made a big mistake. He rejected the friendship treaty and added insult to injury by humiliating David, the king of Israel, by humiliating his representatives. David had no ulterior motives in approaching Hanun and acting kindly toward him.
There are times almost every day when we need to talk to someone else about some situation in which we are found, and we need counsel and advice from a different perspective than our own. It is not good to act on advice given to us without considering it from a biblical view. We need to know what our Lord has to say about a matter. That is often provided in general as we apply scriptures to the issue. We act scripturally when acting on tried and proven principles, using them in a specific situation, and asking others for advice. "In the multitude of counselors, there is safety." But sometimes, even the best intentions are misunderstood and, occasionally, misrepresented.
There are times when we ask others for advice, and they are free to tell us what they think. It is up to us to take the time necessary to consider their advice, compare it with that of others and our own, and then consider what to do based on our opinion on the matter. When we make a decision and act on it, we are responsible for the results. We have no right to blame others who may have given bad advice. We make the final decision.
Hanun’s foolish actions lead to widespread changes in northern Israel and far beyond its borders. Thousands of Ammonites and Syrians lost their lives because one man decided to take bad advice. To reject the kindness offered by David’s messengers meant Hanun was rejecting David. There was an arrogance in the "princes of Ammon" when David's servants came to speak for David and comfort Hanun. The "I don't need your sympathy" attitude is never in order. The actions of Hanun that exposed David's servants to ridicule also showed indignity towards the king who sent them to do business for him. When he realized the serious problem he had created between the nations, he should have sought some way to negotiate a solution and apologized for what had been done. Instead, he did not admit any fault in causing David's anger. Thousands died, and barriers arose between those nations that remain today.
To insult and demean people is never a way to talk to people, let alone physically mock them. Humiliating a person or persons will never be forgotten by them, even if you have done it without malice. Despite how suspicious we might be of overtures of kindness others might show toward us, the kind person takes them at face value until proven wrong. At the same time, wisdom holds in reserve the thought that there might be more here than meets the eye. To act belligerently in any case is inappropriate.
The results of one act of humiliation may quickly be over, you might think, but hurt and unfair treatment will not likely ever be honestly let go by the ones who were the victims. To forgive is our responsibility. To truly forget is beyond human ability. Even hastily spoken words of humiliation and disdain that were just casually spoken will be remembered. As believers, we are told to be willing to "be defrauded" rather than take people to court to get our rights, but that doesn't often happen among unbelievers. Seeking a peaceful solution is always the first step when conflicting opinions arise, or something happens that can create a problem.
In the conflict that followed between the nations, Joab told his soldiers to "Be of good courage," knowing also that "The Lord will do what is good in His sight." When the time arises in which we are found in a difficult situation and cannot avoid a conflict, we need to remember the outcome of the matter is in God's hands. He is in control. We can only use our minds, hands, and resources as they obey our Lord. The outcome of a matter is up to Him, and we must trust Him to achieve the result.
Bad things happen sometimes, bringing severe and long-lasting problems with them, and you wonder: Could it have been avoided? And further, you ponder: Is there something I did wrong? Had I misjudged the matter all along? Why did they say that? What was the reason? Is their action reasonable, or is it because I did not make my motive for doing that plain enough? If I am not careful, questions will stay continually in my mind without any honest answer, and the doubts inside my head will sidetrack me, eating away like cancer.
But then comes the time when unavoidable action must be taken. What should I do? Should I take this seriously or put it down to chance or simple misunderstanding? Can this have serious, lasting effects? Will it hinder our lives? If I respond in some way, will it lead to more strife? Suppose we wait quietly, do not make a reply, and do not have any further communication. Will the consequences continue, or will the matter quietly die? Sometimes, I wonder when serious insults are made, whether to rise to the challenge or carefully turn away.
I read of the Lord when reviled; He reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not. Often, when they insulted Him, He answered them with wise words of truth, with words of scripture, or some carefully planned story that silenced their vain words and brought God much glory. So, it seems to me that after considering the source of the problem, it is best to let insults lie or run their course. When all is done, and my answer is only my silence, there won’t be a fiery blaze in my mind and heart; I need reasonable patience.
Insults have come many times before this and will probably come again. I want to be careful that I give no reason for them, and when they are made and for whatever reason, they’re past. The one making them will know I cast the burden on my Lord. By God’s grace, I want to keep a spirit that is always sweet, and when whatever caused the problem is done and completed, I will have been Christ-like in my response to the severe insult, knowing there has been no reason for it. In that way, there will be no fault to find in my reply.
When people reject the messengers of the Gospel, they reject the Subject and Source of the Gospel. The kindness and love of God have been made known to people through our Lord Jesus Christ. God wants us to be reconciled to Him and waits for a reasonable and sensible response. To neglect to respond is the same as rejecting the offer. Yet, God in mercy waits and has been waiting a long time for a positive response to the offer of salvation by grace through faith in Him. That waiting time does have an end, and that end is death – separation from God forever.