Real Christian living. Romans 12:17-21 I stopped today to ask myself, "Am I willing to live like Christ lived? Am I willing to love like Christ loved? Am I willing to forgive like Christ forgave?" - and I realized I needed to take another clear look at the grace of God I have received. God is expecting me to pass on His grace that He showed to me, to others through me. All thoughts and plans of "getting even" with those who have done evil to me must be put aside forever. Doing what is right by carefully thinking whether it looks, and actually is, right before the eyes of everyone, is a charge of holy behavior put on me. Honorable Christian living is expected of me no matter what others may do to me.
V.17. Retaliation does not stop evil from happening. Only love can do that. I need to be concerned for the good and right things to be done, even if it is at my expense. Christian conduct should always uphold the high moral standards of the Gospel of God’s grace to an undeserving sinner like me. Grace is undeserved favor and I have received it with grateful thanks, so should be willing to show it to others without expecting appreciation at first.
People may never like me and what I do in my life for God. They may think I am interfering in the lives of others as I seek to present the truth of God to them. I am called upon to not be unnecessarily offensive or antagonistic to those around me in spite of what they might do. I am to be known as a peace-lover to everyone. It may be as a peace-lover I will be called upon to be a peace-maker by those who do not live in peace with those around them. My reputation as a Christian will not be tarnished if I don't insist on "standing up for my rights." I cannot excuse the wrong another person does, but I can recognize and forgive him, and in Christ's name, love and show him grace like the Lord Jesus Christ did to me who sinned against Him.
V.18. I may not feel like forgiving a person for wrongs done, but my attitude and actions are to be such that a healing of the relationship can take place. I can cultivate peace as a peacemaker so people know we have the ability to live at peace together even though we are different and have different opinions. This does not mean that we are responsible to do something that is impossible. Rather, I should commit myself to live in harmony with others and be as fair and considerate as I can. That likely will mean that we overlook offenses and work at loving those who attack us. If it is necessary to confront a person, it must be for their good and not for personal vengeance
V.19. When we avenge ourselves, we are trying to take God’s place. He alone has the right to repay evil. It is up to me to not demand my rights but practice forgiveness. Forgiveness breaks the cycle of retaliation and opens the way to bring reconciliation. A total change of attitude may result, but even if it doesn’t, it frees the one who forgives from bearing a load of bitterness. Feeling like forgiving doesn’t really do anything until a right action takes place. The relief that comes from deliberately forgiving another person will come after it is an accomplished fact. Then, even if others are still angry, we can be calm in our own soul and our spirit will be at peace.
Bitterness on my part really only affects me at first but afterward can defile many. I cannot change the other person - only myself. It would be very wrong for me to set about making plans to deal with that other person in a negative way. God is the only One who can rectify a situation because He is the only One who "looks upon the heart." If righteous wrath is needed, it has to come from God. He can deal in a just and righteous way with any evil or wrong-doing. It may not come out now, but in the future. Vengeance is on the basis of perfect holiness and that is only in God. We can intercede for enemies and even love them, but only God can take holy vengeance on them.
V.20. "Random acts of kindness" are important for us to consider as a way of bringing justice and/or change upon one who does not like me, what I do and what I stand for. The "coals of fire" may come, but they must come by means of the hand of God. There may be genuine repentance on the part of one who opposes the righteousness of God, when he has been given something, he really needs with no strings attached. If we do good to one who has wronged us, we may shame that person into turning to Christ in repentance and faith in Him.
The Bible never promotes personal revenge nor does it give me the right to try to manipulate others. It is expected of me to do what is ultimately the best for others. When we bless those who persecute us, and pray for those who are spiteful, it takes the sting out of what has happened to us. At the same time, it may produce a sense of guilt and remorse in one who has acted against you for no reason. "Coals of fire" will come from God on those who refuse His grace that has been extended through one who lives as a Christian should live. When needs are met by those who have been wronged, the practical expression of love may bring a change of mind, repentance, and maybe even friendship.
V.21. The best way to deal with enemies is to seek to become friends. The hatred of those who oppose God's grace may overwhelm the Christian who is living in a sinful world. We are challenged and charged to not allow this to happen. Learn and practice patience, kindness, benevolence and forbearance. That enables one to defeat designs against those who seek to follow our Lord Jesus Christ in difficult times and situations.
A genuine smile, a helping hand and an appropriate gift at an appropriate time can make right actions turn into right feelings toward others. We are to promote what is good, say what is good and do what is good. We are to be "a people zealous of good works." In that way we have something positive to show the love of God to others through our real Christian living. Maintaining a kind disposition is what the principle of overcoming entails.