1Corinthians 7:1-17 MARRIAGE QUESTIONS Circumstances and society in general in the city of Corinth made it very easy for sexual immorality to flourish
- even among Christians. It is quite common for those who belong to the family of God to be wrongly influenced by the things society around them accepts as normal. Virginity among young people today is uncommon. The pressure to be like everyone else is ongoing, day after day, in schools and workplaces.
Paul addresses the questions the Corinthian believers had because there were extreme views about the saints' marital practices. It seemed like some were promoting celibacy as necessary for one who is spiritual. Others were probably saying that now that they were saved, all things were lawful. The pendulum of self- imposed ideas often swings from one extreme to another. In one so-called "Christian" denomination, celibacy is considered necessary for spiritual service. In other groups, some practice open, uncommitted sexual intercourse as evidence of "Christian love." Celibacy is certainly permitted in the context of Christian and assembly life, but it is not commanded, nor is it recommended to those who have the need for sexual intimacy. It is an honorable state and entirely proper if one lives in strict celibacy. But that is what it is. It does not leave room for occasional sex. If one is called by God and given this gift, then one can be thankful for the freedom to serve the Lord in a committed and contented state. It is neither more “right” nor more spiritual. It simply leaves one more liberty to attend to the things of God.
Christian marriage provides the way to avoid sexual temptations and fulfill the natural and normal desires God gives us. To "be fruitful and multiply" were instructions from God that can be fulfilled by means of sexual love. The privilege of sexual love with one person in a union to which both are legally committed by marriage vows enables us to "avoid fornication." The way it is properly maintained is by each recognizing our body belongs to the one to whom we are married - the husband's body to his wife, and her body to him. This deliberately makes each one available to the other to meet each other's needs, physically and emotionally. Because sex around us is promiscuous does not mean that such practice is right. To marry and stay married to one person for life is what we are to do. I belong to my wife, and she belongs to me. That is a fundamental condition of Christian marriage.
Single persons and widows are to marry rather than live under the burning of unfulfilled passions. It is important for all saints to remember our bodies are God's dwelling place. The spiritual aspect of who we are must not be governed by the physical needs and desires we might have. Celibacy is the real way to deal with the tendency some seem to have towards members of the same sex. We can "remain eunuchs" for the kingdom of God's sake. Intimate access to another person's body is strictly and only under the bonds of marriage between one man and one woman. Contentment and godliness go together and are "great gain." Fill life with meaningful activity if you are single. Live one day at a time in the way God opens up the path before you.
We are three-part beings - body, soul, and spirit. When God saved us by His grace, each part of us has a spiritual aspect. The Holy Spirit uses my body. The Son of God uses my soul as a tool to transmit His Gospel to the world through the members of my body. The Lord Jesus Christ left us the example of how to use our souls to His glory. The spirit within me, which received life when I was born again into the family of God, links me to my heavenly Father. Now, when two believers become one in Christian marriage, it goes way beyond the physical union, to the point where we become one in the Lord. Not only are we freed from the temptation to seek physical fulfillment elsewhere, but we can also learn and grow together in our spiritual life through our ongoing communion. Marriage, then, includes communion as well as physical union. There is no need for a husband to seek to lord it over his wife, and there is no reason for the wife to seek a life of autonomy on her own. Marriage is intended to fill the needs of both when they are yielded to the Lord and to each other. Whether one is married or single does not make one more important than the other. We are to thankfully accept our present situation and go on to please the Lord in the role in which we are found. Paul could devote himself completely to his ministry by being single, but he did not criticize those who were married, because marriage is of God.
Marriage is the God-appointed way to avoid "burning with passion." This does not mean we should marry just anyone who comes along or strikes our fancy. Apparently, some in Corinth who were planning to marry decided not to marry, but their normal desires were being frustrated. When this happens, a person can become obsessed with what they want but cannot have. The passions of human need are to be dealt with in marriage with one partner, but the principle of marriage "in the Lord" should apply to all, not just to widows. Handling the pressures of passion is easier and better than dealing with the frustrations of unhappiness in a marriage to the wrong person.
The teaching about the permanence of marriage comes right from God at the beginning of human experience with Adam and Eve. The Lord Jesus supported that teaching when He was here and taught this subject of marriage. However, when an unbeliever leaves one whom God has saved and does not want the sanctifying effect of a child of God in his or her life, and leaves and is joined to another person, the bond of marriage is broken. The physical bond of marriage is broken at the death of one partner or at the physical joining of one partner to another person. The believer is not to leave a marriage because God has saved them. Their new life creates a whole new dimension to a family in which the unbelieving spouse and unbelieving children are set aside by God to hear the Gospel and be saved as well. The marriage commitment does not change, but the new life in Christ has a positive influence, so blessings will extend to family members.
If a person who is a believer in Christ is given an ultimatum to deny Christ and reject the testimony of faith in Him, they need to know that to deny the faith and the Lord Jesus Christ who died for them is far worse than dissolving a marriage. If the unsaved spouse is determined to leave after attempts at reconciliation and living the positive blessings of a Christian life, but the other has not produced or maintained unity, then the believer can let the unbeliever go. Married couples should pursue unity, not separation, but when one is rejected because of faith in Christ, that decision has been made by the unbeliever. If the unbeliever goes with another person and is physically joined to that person, the believer is freed from the bonds of the marriage. We are not told to deny the faith to preserve a marriage. Marriage is intended to be for life. But our new life in the family of God is forever.