1st Samuel 18 LOVE AND HATE A strong friendship is one of the greatest expressions of love. The bond of friendship and brotherly love between David and Jonathan is one of the greatest and most touching examples of what we should be experiencing as brothers and sister in Christ. True friendship among believers begins with each one being committed to God, not just to each other. It is on that basis we are able to be frank and open with each other realizing that each is aware of God in this special relationship we have. In the case of David and Jonathan this friendship surpassed the problems each had in their families and even their roles as fellow-soldiers in the army of Israel. Their friendship was tested on several occasions but remained strong until Jonathan died in battle.
Even when Jonathan knew that David would be the king of Israel instead of him, their close friendship was not compromised in any way. David was more important to Jonathan than being the king of Israel after his father Saul. Jonathan's love for David was so great that he surrendered everything to him. Their friendship was the kind that separated them from others by the covenant between them, and Jonathan gave David all that was significant to him. When there is real love for our Lord Jesus Christ in God's people, there will be love one for another that is evident to those who know us. That kind of love for Christ is not only the love of a servant for his Master, but now our Lord has called his disciples His friends, and there is no holding back of what we have. We want Him to have everything we would claim for ourselves.
Jonathan gave David his robe that distinguished him from all other people as the son of the king. Even as a royal son in Israel, he believed David was "worthy of honor" and he was willing to give that to his friend. The garments he gave him were probably garments of glory and beauty that identified him as a person of wealth and high standing in the nation. To give David his sword, likely his most prized possession, symbolized the victories he had won and the energy he expended for the Lord and His people, and his desire to give that high honor to David. His influence surrendered to David is typified when he gave David his bow. A bow sends our personal strength way beyond our present position to area further afield which can be benefitted by that strength. The girdle that bound everything together is like the truth and faith that keeps everything in its proper place in our lives. Everything we are and have should be gladly surrendered to Him who gave everything He had to bless us. We owe our Lord Jesus our life and breath and all we would claim as ours. "Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."
In contrast to Jonathan's love and appreciation of David, is the jealousy and rage of Saul. Jealousy and murder are next-door-neighbors. in the dark soul of a natural man. Saul had easily forgotten David who had opened the way to victory for Israel when he killed Goliath. He seemed to be so self-centered that even when David played the harp or lyre for him, he quickly forgot him. Self-centered people easily set aside the importance of other people and their benefit for all because they are the center of all their thoughts. "I... me... and my" are all that is of value to them. A self-absorbed person has chosen to be ignorant of both God and man.
Not only was Saul selfish, but he was envious of that which belongs to another. He is like many who cannot stand to see another person honored. Envy claims for itself that which another has earned and seeks a way to not only claim it for one's self, but to deny it to another person. Envy shuts out love, mercy and grace by replacing it with jealousy, covetousness and hatred. Envy can strangle a person to such an extent that everything else is shut out until its claims are met. Following hard on the path of envy is hatred that stirs one's soul into acting irrationally and with deep-seated malice.
Not matter how soothing the song or how peaceful the surroundings, hatred when it is in control, treacherously sets about in its attempts to wreak havoc in the lives of others to satisfy its thirst for vengeance. Saul could see his influence, even in his family, slipping away because of his self-centered life. The evil he sought to bring on David was thwarted at every turn. He could recognize that God was for David and had abandoned him. Now he was even losing his family who could see in David that which they knew was missing in their father.
Our Lord was the object of the envy and hatred of the leaders of Israel when He was here. The more grace, mercy and goodness He demonstrated, the greater was their evil intent to kill Him. Even when "He was reviled, He reviled not again. When He suffered He threatened not." Their strategy was to find in Him some fault but Pilate said, "I find in Him no fault at all."
Whether it was Saul's mind of hatred, his eye of jealousy or his javelin of murderous intent, all of his strategies failed because God was with David. And to add even more to his deep-seated anger was the fact that David was loved by the people. All the intrigue in the palace did not turn the gratitude-love of the people away from David because of the victories the Lord was giving on their behalf. He was like a shepherd who wanted to be with the sheep when he was among them. Even in the household servants of Saul the king, there was the love of admiration for David. They appreciated his dignity and humility even as they watched Saul plotting to kill him. It was that admiring love that moved them to suggest that Saul give David his daughter as a wife.
The love of Michal for David was that natural love of one who is married to another. She loved David when he pleased her, but not when he pleased God. The love which gratitude produces is appreciated but may come and go depending on the circumstances of life that are going on. Admiration produces love because it can see the value of a person and the benefits it brings to other people. Natural love, "phileo," may come or go depending on the state of mind a person has at the time. But that may not last because it is based on human emotion.
The love of full-surrender to another person because of the value we see and know to be in that person, is the kind of love God has for us. That love holds nothing back and is willing to see another exalted at our expense. Our greatest joy in relationships comes when we are willing to give all for the blessing of another, and truly expect nothing in return. Of all character traits that are developed and nurtured in a human being, "the greatest of these is love."
Self-occupation is a twisted perception of one's own importance, and when praise and honor is expected by that person, and is not forthcoming, that expectation can turn into jealousy, envy and hatred. One had well written .... "He that is down need fear no fall,
He that is low, not pride. He that is humble shall every have, God to be his guide."