2nd Samuel 10 BAD ADVICE There are times in the course of almost every day when we need to talk to someone else about some situation in which we are found, and we need counsel and advice from a different perspective than our own. It is not a good thing to act on advice given without considering it from a biblical view. We need to know what our Lord has to say about a matter. That is often given in a general way as we apply scriptures to the issue. When it comes to acting on tried and proven principles and then applying them to a specific situation, and then asking others for advice, we are acting scripturally. "In the multitude of counselors, there is safety." David had no ulterior motives in approaching Hanun and acting kindly toward him. But there are times when even the best intentions are misunderstood, and occasionally, misrepresented.
In spite of how suspicious we might be of overtures of kindness others might show toward us, the kind person takes them at face value until proven wrong. At the same time wisdom does hold in reserve that thought that there might be more here than meets the eye. To act belligerently in any case is inappropriate. There was an arrogance in the "princes of Ammon" when David's servants came to speak for David and comfort Hanun. The "I don't need your sympathy" attitude is never in order. To insult and demean people is not ever a way to talk to people, let alone physically mock them. Humiliating a person or persons will never be forgotten by them even if you have done it without malice.
The results of one act of humiliation may quickly be over, you might think, but hurt and unfair treatment will not likely ever be truly let go by the ones who were the victims. To forgive is our responsibility. To truly forget is beyond human ability. Even hastily spoken words of humiliation and disdain that were just casually spoken will be remembered. As believers we are told to be willing to "be defrauded" rather that take people to court to get our rights, but that doesn't often happen among unbelievers. The actions of Hanun that exposed David's servants to ridicule, also was an indignity towards the king who sent them to do business for him. When he realized the problem, he had created between the nations, he should have sought for some way to negotiate a solution, and apologized for what had been done. Instead he did not admit any fault in causing David's anger. The result was thousands died and barriers arose between those nations that remain today.
To seek a peaceful solution to a matter is always the first step to take when conflicting opinions arise or something happens that can create a problem. In the conflict that followed between the nations, Joab told his soldiers to "Be of good courage," knowing also "The Lord will do what is good in His sight." When the time arises in which we are found in a difficult situation and cannot avoid a conflict, we need to remember the outcome of the matter is in God's hands. He is in control. We can use our minds, hands and resources but only as they are in obedience to our Lord. The outcome of a matter is up to Him and we must trust Him for the outcome.