Job 2:11-13 THREE FRIENDS After the historical background of the book of Job is given and we get behind the scenes in heaven, there is an introduction of three men who must have been known in that part of the Middle East as wise men. They are called "Job's three friends" although a lot of what they had to say isn't what friends usually say to each other. They must have had previous dealings with each other and shared an interest in philosophical discussions in the past.
Several months had passed [7:3] and Job's condition had deteriorated to where they could not recognize him when they saw him. The three parts of a human being: body, soul and spirit, each have an effect on the other parts of our personhood. All that Job was going through physically and emotionally was ravaging his body to such a condition his friends loudly wept to see what had happened to him.
This condition opens the whole poetic part of the book, and to the center problem in the lives of many people, namely, "Why do people suffer?" As we get older, we become more conscious of the brevity of life, and suffering physically and emotionally becomes more personal. When it comes close to those we know or to our siblings, we wonder when is our turn coming? The suffering of humanity in general is because "death has passed upon all men, for all have sinned." But in specific and personal ways we are inclined to look for reasons to point at and say this has happened because of that which is wrong.
It is into this setting Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar who had heard of Job's losses, came together and agreed that they should go and be with their friend in his time of suffer and seek to console him. To go to be with a friend who is in trouble is a good thing. The Lord Jesus said that when we visit one who is sick, it is the same as if we visited Him. If we visit one who is falsely accused and in prison, He considers it a visit to Him. It may not be what we say that is important, but the fact that someone cares enough to come to see us that can give emotional comfort to a grieving heart - and maybe even a measure of healing.
We really don't know the reason God allows what He does to happen to our friends. That is His business. Our part is to help bare the burdens they face. When the three friends saw the state Job was in, sitting in the dump instead of his home, disfigured by boils and disease, scraping himself to try to find some relief, ravaged by pain and loss until he was beyond recognition, they threw dust up in the air, cried with loud wailings and tore their own clothes. Then as the dust settled on them - they were stunned to silence, and sat down on the ground where they were.
Their initial reaction was likely to be filled with compassion for his grief and they wanted to identify themselves as friends with him. They could see his grief was too deep for words to bring him comfort. Deep, profound grief cannot be described because few ever experience the same things. Words that have such meaning are very few, and mere words can have the effect of trivializing what is so intense, and may be thought of a patronizing the suffering person. Wisely those three friends soon quieted down and sat silently as a way to try to comfort Job. They couldn't have done any more to help at the time by talking to him because they didn't understand God. They didn't understand Job either. They didn't even understand themselves and that they were actually going to be used by Satan to condemn rather than comfort.
When we think we have all the answers to a matter, that is evidence of our inability to be of any real help to one who is suffering. It is not necessary to always have something spiritual to say to one who is hurting from a terrible loss. It may seem too pat or smooth to one who is going through the valley of the shadow of death. A compassionate facial expression, a brief touch on a hand or shoulder may convey with silence, that quiet love is in the room. That can be of more value than a conversation or exposition of a biblical passage. There is a time for everything.
Seven days is a long time for four men to sit in silence and wait for something to happen or someone to say something. The three friends were philosophical thinkers who did not have a clear knowledge of God and His way. It was very likely those men sat there meditating on what they were going to say after Job opened up to them. Strangely none of them offered any real words of consolation. They came from three different backgrounds, so each would look at Job's condition from their own perspective. Each one would is essence be thinking, "Job must be an awful sinner to have this happen to him. He must have kept things hidden and undercover for so much to happen at once. God is punishing him, so we need to help him get his life straightened out."
Eliphaz was a Temanite. Teman was a grandson of Esau so he could have been a forceful man who had experienced a lot in life. Bildad was a descendant of Shuah who was a son of Abraham and his second wife, Keturah. His background was likely filled with a lot of religious tradition. Zophar the Naamathite was likely from an Arab heritage and much of that mindset comes from assumption rather than reality. Between them they would each have brought a different perspective from the others as to what caused Job's problems and how to deal with them.
Silence can be very helpful at times, but if it continues beyond a certain point, it can make a situation very uncomfortable. When people just sit and look at each other, after awhile it becomes the silence of accusation as each, waits for someone else to do something. When that happens, the consolation that could have helped the one who is suffering, gives the impression that something bad has happened here and we need to find out who to blame. But because no one wants to start being a bearer of bad news, no one says anything to begin seeking the solution for fear they will be challenged.
The long journey to come and comfort Job and show him that they cared for him and what was happening, was good. Even the loud crying, dust, and silence in the dust for a significant amount of time was not all that bad. But when silent condemnation accompanies long looks, unusual facial expressions and the shifting of countenances, then it has gone too far. The whole experience of Job from spiritual and personal success to the depths of loss, sorrow, pain and on-going suffering, now opens to Job's desperate words of unrestrained dialogue.