Job 29:2-3. “Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me; when his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness.” RETROSPECT. Strange are the ways God allows things to come upon us. Is it only when things are good that God does bless? How can I measure divine favor with a finite mind that is limited? What measure can I reach for to determine what is really right? Does the things that we as humans crave for to satisfy the ego – Are these the ways that worth is measured and satisfies the mind? Looking back at carefree days and childish joys that faded Into dignified pleasure when people stopped to recognize my position – Is that really how I know the Almighty God is with me? Is He pleased with the place in His universal plan that I fill?
There were those days of fond memories that can be altered with passing time. Were they to return and I relive them step by step, and day by day – I wonder if they would be what my fading memory makes them out to be? Perhaps the simplicity of those times; the survival mode of living Is what makes them a template of my ancient joys – and, I think, of present ones. The different times, and wider spaces of interaction, make the past much larger in my mind. Were people more kind and friendly in those times, or is it a matter of perception? In retrospect I make mind paintings, and fill in the colors by the numbers Of my choosing, so I can make dark things brighter by adding imaginary colors. Were all the quiet comforts and days of “easy living” really that much better?
The sweat and toil probably seemed oppressive as we longed for newer days to come. There probably was, even then, hopes unformed by words that lay latent in the mind. And as accumulated wealth increased, it seemed to be, just beyond grasping fingers – Satisfaction lay waiting, or at least I thought so, but it had racing feet faster than mine. And fleeting time and years brought longed for “things” that evaded the treasure chest. All seemed so urgent – until my knees were bent –my head bowed – And my eyes were closed to see beyond the realm of vain expectation, To where the Almighty God waited, “father-like” for His child to come. Come back to the Source of life and blessings – past and present and future And in harmonious fellowship – all is understood and makes final sense.
“O God of patience, how it must seem like my faith in Thee is so weak and little as I stand looking back, instead of moving steadily forward. Help me to look and move forward confidently through the confusion of troublesome events all around. Lead me by the still waters of divine purpose where the depth of grace keeps the waters fresh and nourishing. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.”