RULE. 1st Timothy 3:5. The word "deacon," meaning one who serves, is a Greek term like "bishop" that has been adopted into English in its original form. Paul, Timothy, Tychicus, and Phoebe are all identified as servants among God's saints. Those called to lead are to demonstrate moral conduct and maturity among God's people; in their personality, they should be above reproach, and in their community, their integrity must be well established.
The list of sixteen qualifications is not just a suggestion of their behavior and personality. A blameless person leaves nothing for critics to criticize. They are to be above reproach. The pastor-teacher is a gift to the saints of an assembly whose labor and guidance are to be turned into action as a "good work." The qualifications expected are the basic elements of a godly life. In chapter 5, public recognition identifies those who are tried and proven in their character. We are not to "lay hands suddenly" on those unknown to the assembly. The elder is to be the husband of one wife, not a polygamist. Personal morality and fidelity are God's standards. Families must not be overlooked. Discipline, care, and effective teaching begin at home.
I wonder if those closest to me know I care about them, their well-being, and share their spiritual concerns. I realize they are different from me, believe differently, and hold different opinions, but I wonder if they respect my beliefs and practices. I also wonder if my frequent absences have caused them to resent their father. Do they see me as more or less a bother or an embarrassment when they talk among themselves? Is it really true, as I was told once, that I have wounded them for life? Have I neglected them too much in the past and placed too much burden on my wife?
I want to know if I am unqualified to speak for God. If that’s true about me, then I must accept the truth of the scriptures and stop taking a public role. So far, I haven’t felt any disrespect, but if there is some truth in that charge, I don’t want to stubbornly insist on doing what I’ve been doing.
Sometimes, it feels like my family only puts up with me out of a sense of duty. I understand what I do, and their view of my preaching to others sometimes seems to them like “foolishness” and a waste of both their time and mine. But my convictions haven’t changed, and because of their own life changes and commitments, I can’t adapt to them. What I have experienced and taught for years, I cannot ignore.
To some people, our work seems weak and fragile because of our conservative beliefs. However, I also know that many young people we have influenced have been sent into God’s harvest fields in different parts of the world. But it is a real concern to me that those who are so dear to me by nature do not accept what I have taught—actually, from it now, they stay clear and avoid conversations about spiritual beliefs.