YOUNGER WIDOWS. 1st Timothy 5:11-15 Younger widows may seek marriage at any cost, including those who are not believers and/or men who do not have a commitment to live for the Lord Jesus Christ, even if they profess to be saved. She may also be idle and gossip about other people's business. A second marriage for a widow is not condemned when it is "in the Lord." Indiscreet conduct is a reproach to the whole assembly; apparently, some had already "turned aside" in that way. There are these reasons for refusal, so the requirement for younger widows is quite clear. Support from the assembly is unnecessary when it can be met from private sources, making it possible for the assembly to support those who are "widows indeed."
Some younger widows have expectations that are not related to faith. They put on a sorrowful face for reasons known only to themselves and God, so others will pity them, even though they have different plans. Their main goal seems to be to remarry if given the chance. That isn't wrong, but there are risks to consider. A person who stirs up dissension and gossip won't be among those supported by the congregation because their goal is to lift themselves up while putting others down. Usually, it doesn't take long before their reputation as a busybody is known throughout town.
We should never allow ourselves to become idle because then our minds are filled with hearsay and gossip, and we start focusing on things that are unprofitable. When we are willing to engage in tasks that can and should be done for the assembly and others, we will find more than enough to keep us busy and give attention to things that will protect us from foolish talk.
When opportunities arise, it is acceptable to seek someone else to marry. However, there are risks to consider and people to be cautious of. A widow who is a Christian should marry another Christian, and even then, she should be selective. To marry “in the Lord” means they share common ground regarding biblical truth and living to please the Lord. There should be a “common faith” concerning church affiliation and the public practice of faith. There should also be a commitment to a scripturally gathered assembly of believers. The assembly should be prepared to meet the needs of older members, yet younger people can be helped to learn how to carry their burdens.
The attitude of a child of God should be to bring glory to God and not to bring reproach on the church's testimony through gossip and stories. Faith is reflected in a person's actions and the challenges they face. A person who blesses others will make a suitable wife or husband.
Whether a man or woman has lost a spouse, we should expect them to wait upon the Lord to guide them to the person God wants them to marry. During those waiting periods, there is sometimes an expectation of a certain level of entitlement given to them in their current situation. By waiting on God and guarding oneself, lest one be carried away by emotion, God teaches them to trust and rest in Him and to accept and trust the spiritual counsel given by those who know the scriptures and understand the person. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the object of our devotion, and when He sends us the man or woman He chooses to be the one we marry, then we can rest assured that person is the one we can share the rest of our life with.