FATHERS, PROVOKE NOT… Ephesians 6:4. “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” From fathers come the joys, privileges, and responsibilities for lives yet to mature. Life-blood flows from one generation to the next, unseen but very real. Look-alike eyes, features, skin tones, facial shapes, and body language all come together to form a new personality, a new entity, a new person made in the image of God to be entrusted into the hands, heart, and care of a father. This new person originates in the mind and power of God, who chooses the ways and means of passing on what He knows is best to those He entrusts with His heritage—their children. But who is to care for, comfort, protect, and instruct those who come from God? - fathers. They are those who have learned from those before them. Good or bad—they have learned.
Pressures have been applied: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, familial, and cultural, all used to mold, direct, encourage, challenge, reveal, instill, and unfold things that are still unseen. Then comes the challenge—how to do this important work in the right way for everyone involved. What tools does a father have to help his children become what God intends?
Sarcasm, antagonism, and scorn are never acceptable tools to guide someone toward eternal life. Clearly expressed expectations, reasonable demands, and well-defined parameters are effective ways to influence a young person’s thoughts and actions. Consistency in practice, discipline, and modeling has a much greater impact than words alone. A child may become provoked if demands are made on them that we have not imposed on ourselves. Provocation occurs when directions are given loudly, forcefully, unkindly, and impatiently. None of these approaches will lead to the desired results and tend to provoke children to anger.
Exasperating children often produces the opposite result that parents want. The nurture and admonition of the Lord suggest that we consider how the Lord Jesus Christ gave His trainees guidance and try to do the same. He “chose Him twelve, that they might be with Him..." Spending time with children is probably one of the best ways to pass on what they need to learn. After spending 3 ½ years with the Lord, His disciples were on their own but were empowered by the Spirit of God to live their lives for Him. Children who have a present (not an absentee) father learn from his personality and can use it to guide their decisions: “What did Dad do in this situation?” “How did he use his time and abilities?” A clear understanding of the Bible and its relevance to life is essential. An active prayer life, where a man intercedes for his family, is also important. Additionally, having an oral or written history of one’s own experiences can be a valuable tool in instructing children.
The nurture and admonition of the Lord” shows that the father still remains under his own Master's guidance. He is not above asking, “Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?” The process of "bringing them up” isn't complete until they are independent and no longer under your roof.