THE SUPPLICANT. Nehemiah 2:1-2 Four months of prayer, fasting, and preparation of the mind and heart on Nehemiah's part passed before the first day of the new year in the Middle East. The earnest supplication and spontaneous prayers of a man living in conscious awareness of God's presence had prepared him for what lay ahead. For four months, he had been earnestly praying about the disturbing news he had received from his brother upon his brother's return to Babylon.
To "wait on God" means we are willing to pray and wait for His time, to be in His presence, and to anticipate all He wants to teach us before we are called to act. It is normal for us to lay plans and schedules that suit us and that we believe are in our best interest and in the best interest of the task before us. It is spiritual when we are confident enough in God to pray, hope, and quietly wait for His leading and guidance. Sometimes God uses us to be the answers to our own prayers. To wait without anxiety showing in facial expressions, nervous anticipation, and other body language is not easy for us to do naturally.
For four months, Nehemiah carried out his daily duties in the king's presence with a cheerful countenance and a normal demeanor, without outwardly showing any anxiety. That day of celebration was probably not a day for normal government business, so Artaxerxes and the queen were both there when Nehemiah brought the wine to the king, as was his responsibility. It may have been the celebration around him that made the sadness in his heart no longer concealable by his willpower, or an act of God in His servant that revealed his inner thoughts. The king knew him well enough to notice the change in his facial expression. The contrast between the king and queen's lighthearted attitude and the sadness on Nehemiah's face was obvious. No wonder Nehemiah's response to the king's question was made in great fear.
Nehemiah was dreadfully afraid because personal problems were not permitted in the king's presence. According to Esther 4:2, there would likely be severe punishment if anything interfered with the king’s state of mind or pleasure, and the king’s discernment of Nehemiah’s state of mind was reason enough to be afraid.
Fear is a legitimate emotion that God has placed in our nature to protect us from dangers seen and unseen. Reverential fear is respect for God and, to a lesser degree, for others who have authority over us because of their position and importance. Fear for one's life at the hands of another person is impossible to hide. It is neither wrong nor unseemly to admit such fear. Even so, we do not need to allow fear to control us or keep us from doing what is right. Confidence in God and faith in action are greater than the fear of man or even the fear of death.
The courage and faith of Stephen as he was being stoned to death, and the fear and trust of the many martyrs as they died, honored God and testified to the reality of what they believed. We cannot let fear control us or make us reluctant to do what God wants. Fear of water is not an excuse for not being baptized as a believer. The fear of embarrassment should not keep us from testifying in words to our faith in Christ. "The fear of man bringeth a snare."
Persian kings believed that simply being in their presence should make anyone happy. That belief still elicits a common response among ordinary people when they are in the presence of national dignitaries. Showing inner feelings, such as a desire to be somewhere else or doing something else, would be taken as a personal affront to a king. Also, King Artaxerxes had ordered the building of the wall to be stopped [Ezra 4:21-23], so Nehemiah had real reasons to be afraid.
Artaxerxes also had his fears because ancient monarchs had been poisoned before his time. The cupbearer held a very responsible and trusted position because he had to drink from the king’s cup before the king drank. If he died, it would be proof that a coup or rebellion was imminent. Any agitation on the part of the cupbearer would be regarded as a sign that something bad was about to happen.