1st Timothy 3:4. “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;” RESPECT. I wonder if those who are closest to me really know I care For them and their well-being and their spiritual concerns share? I know they are different from me and have different opinions than mine But I wonder if for what I believe and practice, they can any respect find?
I wonder if being away a lot has caused them to resent their father? When they communicate among themselves – am I more or less a bother? Is it really true as I was told once, I have wounded them for life? Have I neglected them too much in the past and put too much of a load on my wife?
If I am unqualified to speak for God, I really would like to know it now. If such a thing is true of me, then to the scriptures of truth I bow. But up until now I personally haven’t sensed any disrespect – In that charge there must be some truth; I don’t want to harden my neck.
It seems maybe my family just puts up with me out of a sense of duty. I know what I do and preach to others sometimes seems to them “tom-foolery.” But my convictions haven’t changed and to theirs I can’t adapt. What I have experienced and for years have taught – I cannot really ignore that.
I know to some our work seems weak and feeble because of our conservative bent. I also know that many we have influenced have into God’s harvest been sent. But it is a real concern to me that those who by nature are so dear – Do not accept what I have taught – actually from it now they stay clear.
O God, if I have failed in my life before my children and those in my own house – Then please, before I do any more wrong, silence me and close my mouth. I do not want to say one thing in public and my family have no respect – I know they don’t want to do what I do – please keep us all from shipwreck.
“It still bothers me Father, to think I may have wounded my daughters for life. I do not want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but if I have stumbled them either by dishonoring Thee or leading them to dishonor Thee – please in whatever way is necessary – keep me from going forth publicly and embarrassing them and/or misleading others. I pray in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.”
There is also the expectation that one who leads is vigilant, temperate and sober. One committed to sobriety keeps his head in all situations and is not easily sidetracked. He is serious and earnest. He does not cheapen the work of the Lord to which he is called, by foolishness. His self-control indicates a balanced mind, exemplified by good behavior, and is orderly as one who is modest. That leader is organized in his thinking, living and teaching. His disciplined life is not disorderly but is dignified as befits one of God's sons who knows he is a representative of His Lord and Master. One who is given to hospitality, indicates he is the same in private as he is in public. He has no reason to not care for those under his leadership and he also loves the stranger [Rom.12:3; Heb.13:2; 3Jn. 5-8] who comes under his influence.
Ability in teaching is one thing. “Apt to teach,” means he has skill in teaching that has been developed and is ready to be used to instruct others. He is a careful student of the Word. A pastor, is a teacher who is proficient in passing on truth in ways that are understood by those he teaches. One must be secure and strong in faith. What I believe must be firmly in place, before it has the needed weight to be accepted by those who are being taught. A leader who teaches, must not be given to drinking wine in excess. A person who leads others, must be under the control of the Holy Spirit, not the evil spirits latent in intoxicating drinks and drugs that other people may use in leisure or even on special occasions. The use of wine in Bible times and now is different. Romans 14:21 would especially apply today.